Facebook

Riddle Me This…
What is the deal with Facebook these days? People apparently seem to think it is a diary, spilling out there deep dark secrets, writing shit no one cares about (similar to this), and talking shit about other people. Honestly no one cares! I could care less that you ate a banana for lunch, you broke up with your boyfriend because he imed another girl, or that you’re engaged. Okay maybe that last one would be nice to know, but seriously the rest of the stuff, I don’t care. Wow you got 100 points on a word in WWF (yeah mom I said it), would you like a god damn cookie? I mean if you beat someone you were playing and want to rub it in their face, by all means do so. But every time you make a move I don't need to or want to know about it.

Another thing that really bugs me about people on Facebook is they think it’s okay to talk shit about other people over a status, "LyKe OmG that slut totally hooked up with the guy I liked last night what a bitch, blah blah blah." Here’s an idea how bout you STFU. We all know who you’re talking about (because you use something to make it so blatantly obvious) and we all know you don’t have the balls to say something to that person’s face, so you are making yourself look like an idiot by posting it. And then you have the people that try to throw a curve ball back by posting stuff like “wow you’re so tough using Facebook to deal with your problems”, well guess what, by you saying that you're doing the exact same thing.  All you are doing is looking for sympathy, you want a friend to comment “yeah omg I know @enternamehere is such a slut” because you want that person to see it. When that person sees it does that make you feel better about yourself? Because to me you look like an ass, dirty laundry goes in the washing machine.

And also when a game of some sort is on, I don’t even need to turn on the TV because just by going on Facebook I already know everything that’s going on. Don’t you people get it? You’re all clogging up my news feed while I’m trying to get my stalk on. Twitter is for updates (and hash tags, #seriously why do you #use them on #Facebook?). Facebook is for bragging about your accomplishments and posting slutty pictures so people can see how awesome you look, or sharing important information with people you are friends with. By the way you're not fooling anyone, everyone knows you don't have 2,000 friends.So when will people grow up, stop using Facebook as a diary, and face your problems instead of facebooking them? The world may never know!
Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Feminist Movement

Riddle Me This…
The feminist movement is a wonderful thing, right? I mean there was even a whole art movement dedicated to it. Now women can vote, work, and be treated equally. Many think it was one of the best things to happen (in America at least). Personally I think it was one of the worst things to happen. Women like Susan B. Anthony, Judy Chicago, and Rosie the Riveter made the world harder for women, not easier.

Now women have to waste their money, to attend college. Yes it’s great that we get an education but I mean seriously, were probably not going to get a good job anyway. Speaking of jobs, now women actually have to get one to be seen as “equal.”

Honestly I would rather go back to the way things use to be. I would love to be able to not work. I would way rather stay at home, clean the house, take care of the kids, and take money from my man (instead of having to make it myself) then go out in the real world and actually have to spend time looking for a job and going to school. I would make a man a sandwich over going to an office, and having to deal with aholes, any day of the week.

So if any man is looking for a good ole fashion house wife (with a college degree) I am your woman. Tell me to make you a sandwich and clean the house, I will not be offended. Because in this situation, you’re the one that is losing, you’re paying my bills while I sit at home and watch Ellen and Jerry Springer. So why the hell is there even such thing as the feminist movement? The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Airline Segregation

Riddle Me This…
I’ve been doing quite a lot of traveling the past few days, and I have noticed one thing that is common in almost every airport I have ever been too. For some reason airports are still stuck in the stone ages, because they practice segregation.  I’m not talking about racial segregation; I’m talking straight up airline segregation.

Everybody knows the shitty airlines include Southwest, Delta, and Spirit. At almost every airport, these select airlines are grouped in the same terminal; I’ll call this Terminal Shit. Everybody also knows that almost always Air Canada (Air Anything really), Continental/United, and Lufthansa are more ‘high class’ airlines, and these are almost always grouped together in another terminal; I’ll call this Terminal G Status. Why must we separate shit and g-status? Do we need Martin Luther King Jr.  to rise from the dead to help stop this segregation?

 If you’re like me in any way, your either poor as shit or don’t want to pay for the high price airlines. So you get stuck in Terminal Shit, and what is in Terminal Shit? The worst food the airport could offer of course. In Terminal Shit your stuck with the classic airport store (which features chips, soda, and magazines), a Starbucks (because that’s exactly what I want to do before I get on a plane, drink something that will keep me wide awake), and some shitty restaurant like Pizza Hut or McDonalds.  So not only are your knees going to be touching your chin on your flight, your also going to have to get up to use the restroom if you chose any of the food options in the terminal.

Now Terminal G Status is filled with restaurants and shops that everyone loves. While in Terminal G Status you can pick up a nice gift for someone (because you obviously forgot while you were traveling), sit down at a decent restaurant, and get a massage or pedicure. Now why is this the case?  The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Reindeer Cars

Riddle Me This...

  It's Christmas time you’re driving around, doing dome holiday shopping, picking up your Christmas tree, sleeping with your mistress, or whatever you may do and you see those people who are WAY too into the Christmas season. You know, the ones that put the stupid reindeer costume on their car, probably the same people that have those blow up Santa's or snow globes that EVERYONE wants to take a knife up to and pop the damn thing.

The Reindeer costume for a car is like putting a tutu on your male dog. You are disrespecting your car to the fullest. Every car has an identity whether you think so or not, and by dressing your car up you are ruining the identity! If you want to do something nice for your car give it a nice set of rims or some window tints, you know something that will last for the car's life, not something you will remove only to place back on 12 months later.

Now the exception to this reindeer rule would be to leave the costume on throughout the year. That is totally acceptable, because now you have not changed your car's identity; you have actually given it one.

So next time you think of dressing your car up for a couple of days or the holiday season, remember car's have feelings too. And why must you crazy holiday people dress your cars up like reindeer? The world may never know!

Until Next Time,

LMONEZ

UHAUL TRUCKS

Riddle Me This...

  I hate it when I'm driving down the highway, you know, going normal speed concentrating on the road and everything, and I see a stupid U-Haul truck. I mean like really why do you have to drive those. If anything I really think U-Haul should be ashamed of their selves.

Now the U-Haul concept is a great thing, you pack up your stuff move it into the truck and transport it where it needs to go. But U-Haul took it to the next level, they made their truck not only great for the driver but they also make it great for the other cars on the road. The reason for this is that every car has a fact about a state on it. So while the driver is enjoying transporting his belongings, the observer can learn a new fact, and enjoy their time on the road. See what I mean in this image below:

Now you probably thought the beginning of this was about me hating U-Haul, well it is. I hate U-Haul because these trucks are so distracting. No matter when I see one while driving I want to read the fact, this makes me takes my eyes off of the road and lose concentration for a hot second. This has never led to an accident, but I believe in the future it could. The world may never know!

Until Next Time,

  LMONEZ

Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

Riddle Me This....

  Have you ever been driving in your car and all of a sudden you look in your passenger side mirror and see the words Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear?... Well I sure have, and you know what it confused the shit out of me. What does that even mean? If the objects are appearing than how can they be closer then they appear?

So after careful consideration and a strenuous headache I realized what it meant. When you take a nice look out the passenger side and see a car in the mirror it looks further away than it actually is. The car (in the mirror) is closer to you than you think.

Now after I realized this and jotted down some notes (in my brain), I took a look out the driver side window to look at the mirror. When I looked out it I saw nothing on the mirror. So what does that mean exactly? Are the 'objects' in that mirror in fact the same distance as they appear? Are they further? The world may never know!

Until Next Time,

LMONEZ