Toy Dogs

Riddle Me This…
What is the point of owning a toy dog? And by toy I don’t mean something like a child’s toy. In fact I don’t even mean the specific registered toy breeds.  However most of the “toy dogs” I am talking about do fit the standard AKC guidelines for toy dogs.

The reality is that some people find it okay to treat everyday like it is Halloween. Your dog does not want to wear those stupid dresses or a costume, that’s why when you put them on the dog it bites them and tries to get them off. Fact: Dogs do not need sunglasses.  Also your dog does not need to go everywhere with you, just because your dog is in a purse does not mean you can bring it INSIDE a restaurant. 1. That is unsanitary and 2. Its rude to the people who are trying to enjoy their meal, and instead end up spending their meal staring at you wondering how many times your mother dropped you on your head as a baby. The only acceptable time to bring your dog to a restaurant is if it is outdoors!

Another thing that pisses me off is when you bring your dog on an airplane. If you keep it under the seat and in the bag the whole time then by all means bring the pooch. What gets me though is when people take their dog out in the airport or on the plane and let it walk around.  If someone is allergic to peanuts on Jet Blue they will not serve them on to anyone on the flight, but what if someone is allergic to dogs? (the answer is the could carless and let the dog on anyway). The reason this probably bothers me is because of this one time I was at the airport and our flight was a little delayed  and this crazy lady took her dog out and let it shit  all over the floor, my friend used her camera to take a video of the after math which you can see below.  It was disgusting, it made the whole airport smell! The lady then continued to talk about how she fed the dog some chicken before she got there, like seriously lady? WTF!! To Sadie’s owner if you see this, you ruined the whole dog in the airport situation, Shame on you!

Pet stores are just adding to this madness. Why is it necessary to sell dog strollers? Seriously if I see you walking your dog around in a stroller, I am most likely going to stick my foot out and trip you. Dogs have legs for a reason, to walk. Dogs need exercise they do not need to be pushed around in a stroller (or attached the back of your bike like a toddler).  The exception to this rule is of course injured dogs, but honestly I have never seen an injured dog in a stroller. Dogs are animals!

I love my dog more than you could imagine, and that is exactly why I do not torture her on the reg. I mean don’t get me wrong every now and then I’ll throw a nice little t-shirt on for a picture, but once the picture is snapped, that shirt is off. Feel free to throw a sweater on here and there or what not, but some people take it WAY to far, to an unnecessary level that makes the owner and dog look like an ass. Honestly how would you feel if you were forced into a purse, made to wear an ugly ass outfit, and ridiculed by 99% of people? So don’t be that 1%, Occupy Toy dogs!! Will the dogs be saved from this misfortune? And will people begin to follow proper dog etiquette? The world may never know.
UNTIL NEXT TIME,
LMONEZ

Hello Kitty

Riddle Me This…
What the hell is the deal with Hello Kitty? Seriously why are so many people overly obsessed with this cat figure? How did she come about and when is this obsession going to go away? This little Asian figure is legit everywhere and unfortunately doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

Before criticizing Hello Kitty I decided to pull up the most reliable source on the internet, Wikipedia, to find out a little information about her.  I thought maybe the bitch had a TV show or something back in the day and that was how she became popular, but nope the puss started out on a coin purse by some Japanese guy. She even has a whole story behind her and it’s a ridiculous one (such as “Her height is described as five apples and her weight as three apples”), check it out… actually don’t it was a waste of my time, and I will never get that time back.

In almost every mall I go to there is a whole entire store dedicated to Hello Kitty memorabilia which includes dolls, bags, phone accessories, ect. If you are over the age of 10 and are seen in this store you should automatically be shunned or sent to Cuba. Like seriously WTF, at least characters such as SpongeBob or Winnie the Pooh were based off a TV shows and books. Hello Kitty is based off absolutely nothing and when she came to the United States in 1976 we should have sent it right back to Asia, and if you ask me she has been here 36 years to long. So when will this stupid cat disappear? The world may never know?
Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Facebook

Riddle Me This…
What is the deal with Facebook these days? People apparently seem to think it is a diary, spilling out there deep dark secrets, writing shit no one cares about (similar to this), and talking shit about other people. Honestly no one cares! I could care less that you ate a banana for lunch, you broke up with your boyfriend because he imed another girl, or that you’re engaged. Okay maybe that last one would be nice to know, but seriously the rest of the stuff, I don’t care. Wow you got 100 points on a word in WWF (yeah mom I said it), would you like a god damn cookie? I mean if you beat someone you were playing and want to rub it in their face, by all means do so. But every time you make a move I don't need to or want to know about it.

Another thing that really bugs me about people on Facebook is they think it’s okay to talk shit about other people over a status, "LyKe OmG that slut totally hooked up with the guy I liked last night what a bitch, blah blah blah." Here’s an idea how bout you STFU. We all know who you’re talking about (because you use something to make it so blatantly obvious) and we all know you don’t have the balls to say something to that person’s face, so you are making yourself look like an idiot by posting it. And then you have the people that try to throw a curve ball back by posting stuff like “wow you’re so tough using Facebook to deal with your problems”, well guess what, by you saying that you're doing the exact same thing.  All you are doing is looking for sympathy, you want a friend to comment “yeah omg I know @enternamehere is such a slut” because you want that person to see it. When that person sees it does that make you feel better about yourself? Because to me you look like an ass, dirty laundry goes in the washing machine.

And also when a game of some sort is on, I don’t even need to turn on the TV because just by going on Facebook I already know everything that’s going on. Don’t you people get it? You’re all clogging up my news feed while I’m trying to get my stalk on. Twitter is for updates (and hash tags, #seriously why do you #use them on #Facebook?). Facebook is for bragging about your accomplishments and posting slutty pictures so people can see how awesome you look, or sharing important information with people you are friends with. By the way you're not fooling anyone, everyone knows you don't have 2,000 friends.So when will people grow up, stop using Facebook as a diary, and face your problems instead of facebooking them? The world may never know!
Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Bearded Man

Riddle Me This…

What is with these men who think they are Santa Claus? I’m not talking about dressing in red or bringing toys to little kids (pedophile status), although that would be just as weird. I’m talking about their beards. Not a nice goatee or a little bit of a neck beard, I mean full on long ass beard status.

First off the beard looks ridiculous and no one in their right mind wants to be seen with you. Second why the hell do you even have a beard that long? Do you want your food to get caught in it so you have a snack for later? Seriously what is the deal, I understand it takes a lot of work to shave everyday but a nice trim here and there won’t kill you.

In my opinion (and I speak for most of the world) a man should be anywhere from a clean shaven face to a little underTaliban status, anything longer then that is just a little overbearing. No woman wants to kiss a man with a beard, let alone kiss a man with a beard touching her belly button. And that show, Whisker Wars is a disgrace, it’s just encouraging poor beard etiquette. Will there ever be a time where everyone follows proper beard etiquette? The world may never know!
Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Feminist Movement

Riddle Me This…
The feminist movement is a wonderful thing, right? I mean there was even a whole art movement dedicated to it. Now women can vote, work, and be treated equally. Many think it was one of the best things to happen (in America at least). Personally I think it was one of the worst things to happen. Women like Susan B. Anthony, Judy Chicago, and Rosie the Riveter made the world harder for women, not easier.

Now women have to waste their money, to attend college. Yes it’s great that we get an education but I mean seriously, were probably not going to get a good job anyway. Speaking of jobs, now women actually have to get one to be seen as “equal.”

Honestly I would rather go back to the way things use to be. I would love to be able to not work. I would way rather stay at home, clean the house, take care of the kids, and take money from my man (instead of having to make it myself) then go out in the real world and actually have to spend time looking for a job and going to school. I would make a man a sandwich over going to an office, and having to deal with aholes, any day of the week.

So if any man is looking for a good ole fashion house wife (with a college degree) I am your woman. Tell me to make you a sandwich and clean the house, I will not be offended. Because in this situation, you’re the one that is losing, you’re paying my bills while I sit at home and watch Ellen and Jerry Springer. So why the hell is there even such thing as the feminist movement? The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Airline Segregation

Riddle Me This…
I’ve been doing quite a lot of traveling the past few days, and I have noticed one thing that is common in almost every airport I have ever been too. For some reason airports are still stuck in the stone ages, because they practice segregation.  I’m not talking about racial segregation; I’m talking straight up airline segregation.

Everybody knows the shitty airlines include Southwest, Delta, and Spirit. At almost every airport, these select airlines are grouped in the same terminal; I’ll call this Terminal Shit. Everybody also knows that almost always Air Canada (Air Anything really), Continental/United, and Lufthansa are more ‘high class’ airlines, and these are almost always grouped together in another terminal; I’ll call this Terminal G Status. Why must we separate shit and g-status? Do we need Martin Luther King Jr.  to rise from the dead to help stop this segregation?

 If you’re like me in any way, your either poor as shit or don’t want to pay for the high price airlines. So you get stuck in Terminal Shit, and what is in Terminal Shit? The worst food the airport could offer of course. In Terminal Shit your stuck with the classic airport store (which features chips, soda, and magazines), a Starbucks (because that’s exactly what I want to do before I get on a plane, drink something that will keep me wide awake), and some shitty restaurant like Pizza Hut or McDonalds.  So not only are your knees going to be touching your chin on your flight, your also going to have to get up to use the restroom if you chose any of the food options in the terminal.

Now Terminal G Status is filled with restaurants and shops that everyone loves. While in Terminal G Status you can pick up a nice gift for someone (because you obviously forgot while you were traveling), sit down at a decent restaurant, and get a massage or pedicure. Now why is this the case?  The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ