Bearded Man

Riddle Me This…

What is with these men who think they are Santa Claus? I’m not talking about dressing in red or bringing toys to little kids (pedophile status), although that would be just as weird. I’m talking about their beards. Not a nice goatee or a little bit of a neck beard, I mean full on long ass beard status.

First off the beard looks ridiculous and no one in their right mind wants to be seen with you. Second why the hell do you even have a beard that long? Do you want your food to get caught in it so you have a snack for later? Seriously what is the deal, I understand it takes a lot of work to shave everyday but a nice trim here and there won’t kill you.

In my opinion (and I speak for most of the world) a man should be anywhere from a clean shaven face to a little underTaliban status, anything longer then that is just a little overbearing. No woman wants to kiss a man with a beard, let alone kiss a man with a beard touching her belly button. And that show, Whisker Wars is a disgrace, it’s just encouraging poor beard etiquette. Will there ever be a time where everyone follows proper beard etiquette? The world may never know!
Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Feminist Movement

Riddle Me This…
The feminist movement is a wonderful thing, right? I mean there was even a whole art movement dedicated to it. Now women can vote, work, and be treated equally. Many think it was one of the best things to happen (in America at least). Personally I think it was one of the worst things to happen. Women like Susan B. Anthony, Judy Chicago, and Rosie the Riveter made the world harder for women, not easier.

Now women have to waste their money, to attend college. Yes it’s great that we get an education but I mean seriously, were probably not going to get a good job anyway. Speaking of jobs, now women actually have to get one to be seen as “equal.”

Honestly I would rather go back to the way things use to be. I would love to be able to not work. I would way rather stay at home, clean the house, take care of the kids, and take money from my man (instead of having to make it myself) then go out in the real world and actually have to spend time looking for a job and going to school. I would make a man a sandwich over going to an office, and having to deal with aholes, any day of the week.

So if any man is looking for a good ole fashion house wife (with a college degree) I am your woman. Tell me to make you a sandwich and clean the house, I will not be offended. Because in this situation, you’re the one that is losing, you’re paying my bills while I sit at home and watch Ellen and Jerry Springer. So why the hell is there even such thing as the feminist movement? The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ

Airline Segregation

Riddle Me This…
I’ve been doing quite a lot of traveling the past few days, and I have noticed one thing that is common in almost every airport I have ever been too. For some reason airports are still stuck in the stone ages, because they practice segregation.  I’m not talking about racial segregation; I’m talking straight up airline segregation.

Everybody knows the shitty airlines include Southwest, Delta, and Spirit. At almost every airport, these select airlines are grouped in the same terminal; I’ll call this Terminal Shit. Everybody also knows that almost always Air Canada (Air Anything really), Continental/United, and Lufthansa are more ‘high class’ airlines, and these are almost always grouped together in another terminal; I’ll call this Terminal G Status. Why must we separate shit and g-status? Do we need Martin Luther King Jr.  to rise from the dead to help stop this segregation?

 If you’re like me in any way, your either poor as shit or don’t want to pay for the high price airlines. So you get stuck in Terminal Shit, and what is in Terminal Shit? The worst food the airport could offer of course. In Terminal Shit your stuck with the classic airport store (which features chips, soda, and magazines), a Starbucks (because that’s exactly what I want to do before I get on a plane, drink something that will keep me wide awake), and some shitty restaurant like Pizza Hut or McDonalds.  So not only are your knees going to be touching your chin on your flight, your also going to have to get up to use the restroom if you chose any of the food options in the terminal.

Now Terminal G Status is filled with restaurants and shops that everyone loves. While in Terminal G Status you can pick up a nice gift for someone (because you obviously forgot while you were traveling), sit down at a decent restaurant, and get a massage or pedicure. Now why is this the case?  The world may never know!

Until Next Time,
LMONEZ